Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Transition from Mom to Grandma

I'll be a grandma before I turn 40. I need some cool ideas for a name other than grandma - anything but grandma. I'm way cooler than that! Memaw? Granny? Gma? I guess my granddaughter will decide! Leave your ideas in the comments!!

Marcus and I have always had a strong bond. Sometimes it's felt like me and Marc against the world. For almost 8 years, it was just he and I. Then there was my ex and then there wasn't again. So he's my sidekick. My favorite oldest son. I've done my best and questioned my best and wondered if my best was best enough. I'm still second guessing!

So this next step is filled with mixed emotions. Happiness and a little sadness. Excitement and a little anxiousness. Pride and worry.

He's grown up so much in the last 6 months. Working full time at a decent job with decent pay and full benefits. Making tough decisions - like missing a family vacation to work, buying a reliable car instead of the truck he wants, paying his bills instead of going out. All the things we all have to do as we grow up. As a parent, sometimes we get frustrated with our kids and wonder if they'll ever grow up and be responsible and then one day, they do. I know there will be lots more growing up to do but he's off to a great start and I'm proud of the man he's becoming.

And now today, he begins to move away from home to his first little apartment. It's exciting. I remember my mom helping me. Buying me little things for the kitchen, my first set of towels, giving me her decorations she didn't want anymore - everything to make it feel like home. And now I get to do the same thing. I'm so happy for them.

But I'm on the verge of tears too. He's my baby and he's leaving. Wow, that went really fast. Wasn't I just changing diapers? Waiting for him to say "momma" for the first time?

So now I get to be excited about Sunday dinner at my house. My dad did that when I first moved out and I miss it so much. Now I get to make that tradition. I'll make their favorites and spoil that baby. Now baby can come visit grandma instead of living with grandma.

But now I worry...what if they need me? It's their first child. Do they know what to do? Can I protect them? What if the baby cries and they need an extra set of arms....? what if what if what if. . . by now you should be getting a good idea of the mixed emotions.

The truth is even with my fears, I realize they're unfounded. I'm just a few short blocks away and they're responsible young adults. They'll have growing pains, I'll get the calls asking what to do about this or that, I'll miss them. But this is what's supposed to happen. He should be moving out. They should want their own place. It's all part of the process and I'm so thankful I raised him like I did. My role is changing a bit and I'm pretty excited about this step. I have a feeling they won't be the only ones with a few growing pains. (Is it acceptable to still ask him to check in? Can I still text him a few times a day telling him I love him? How often is too often to tell him I miss him? How do I make sure I'm not "that" mother-in-law?)

Oh, and about that bucket list - I threw Jyni a wonderful baby shower. I took pics but deleted them (dummy!!). It turned out wonderful and she was spoiled with cute pink frilly outfits, lots of diapers, and plenty of blankets. If there's one thing this granny can do - it's throw a party!!

1 comment: