Friday, January 23, 2015

Making My Way Back

Wow, have I really not written since October? To say I've been busy would be true. But not any busier than usual. I've just felt like I didn't know what to write. I enjoy blogging but truly, is it fun if no one is reading? I know people who blog as a way to journal. It's true that it serves that purpose but to put your thoughts and ramblings out to the universe, well, there has to be a different purpose. 

Since I started this blog, I've been all over the map. I've posted pieces of my divorce. I needed an outlet - one that didn't make my friends pick sides or involve my kids. I've written about my weight loss struggles and my weight loss successes. I shared my moments of self loathing and the moments I've celebrated the way I look. All in all, I think I've shared things for me but also in hopes that maybe someone will read something I've written that resonates. 

With that being said, I'm working through what this year's blog focus will be. Let's start at the beginning. If you've read my blog for any length of time, you'll know that in December I post my annual Bucket List. It's x number of things to do before my x birthday. Last year was 39 before 39. I didn't do so well. Here's my list and a recap:
  1. Receive my certificate in web design - DONE! Now I decided to finish up my degree in Business Management. 
  2. Try standup paddleboarding - I thought about it more than once. I even almost signed up for a class. But the water was filled with icky algae and it smelled bad and I decided this could wait. 
  3. Climb Mt. McLoughlin - This has been on my list for three years. Maybe climbing Mt. McLoughlin just isn't important to me. 
  4. Create a website - Yep, did it. Woo hoo
  5. Be on stage - Did this too. 
  6. Sew a skirt or dress with fabric I love - loved the fabric but I'm no seamstress. 
  7. Save $2000 - yeaaaaahhhh right?? Nope. 
  8. Visit Cheya - Yep!
  9. Cross a finish line - I did do this. The kids and I participated in the Ugly Sweater Run. I walked but my youngest son ran the whole thing!! Way to go!
  10. Get a tattoo
  11. Dance (outside my house, somewhere besides my kitchen)
  12. Conquer a fear - I'm not sure if I did this or not. I'm still afraid of snakes which is the big one. But I'm no longer afraid my son won't make it to 18 (c'mon as a mom, you know you've wondered if you're kids will live if they roll their eyes one more time).  Let's mark this one done. haha
  13. Start my memoir - Why did I pick this one? Am I really this important and do I like to write that much? 
  14. Hike Stuart Falls trail - I actually did try this one. I ended up at Crater Lake hiking instead. I couldn't find it. Perhaps it's a sign that hiking isn't for me. 
  15. Be able to hold plank for 2 minutes - hahahahaha, um, no. 
  16. Learn to love my body - It started as acceptance but you know what, this body can do things!
  17. Be able to do 20 proper pushups- hahaha, again, um no. I don't even think I ever actually tried one. 
  18. Be a bridesmaid in a beautiful wedding
  19. Sleep under the stars
  20. Complete six passport nights - I cooked a lot but I didn't actually accomplish this. 
  21. Master three yoga poses (mountain, Warrior 1, and bridge) - Same as with pushups and plank. Didn't even try. 
  22. Ride my bike to work. Nope. I couldn't pick a day when I wanted to be smelly and look like I'd been run over. 
  23. Start a regular weight training regime - Well, sort of. I started it. I did it regularly for a week. It counts - I didn't say how long. 
  24. go camping - So fun!!
  25. take a fashion risk - I actually did a few of these! I did a 30 day closet challenge where I attempted to not wear the same outfit twice in 30 days. I did it. I wore leopard (halfway through the day decided not for me). I wore booties with rolled up jeans (something I thought i'd hate but I loved). I wore cute short skirts with sweater leggings. 
  26. get my passport - nope
  27. take the kids on a vacation
  28. Visit Lassen Park - nope but I did go to Burney Falls which is close!!
  29. Go to a play in Ashland - nope. 
  30. Decorate my bedroom
  31. Teach my kids to cook - I did accomplish this. Marcus regularly makes steak and other stuff while Nate has mastered mac and cheese!
  32. Take a weekend trip without the kids and cut loose - apparently I've forgotten how to cut loose. 
  33. Kiss in the rain - Yes, I think. I can't remember exactly. I think it was more of a drizzle. 
  34. Plan and save for Marc's graduation trip - welllllll, this is another story. Let's make it to graduation and then we'll go from there. 
  35. Buy a swimsuit and wear it - Done! 
  36. Do something awesome for Marc's 18th bday
  37. Go to Reno for the Santa Pub Crawl in December - nope. again, not sure I remember how to cut loose!
  38. Go to my 20 year class reunion
  39. Go to Chozu Gardens in Ashland - I read some reviews and eh, I think this is coming off. 
So, I accomplished some. Didn't accomplish others. And I've not decided what to do this year. 

I'll be 40 in December. It feels like I should really do something grand but I can't decide what. So.....leave me a comment and help me decide what I should do in 2015 to celebrate the big 4-0......