On Being Mom

From a very early age, I remember wanting to be a mom. I had my baby dolls and I'd dress them, swaddle them in blankets, and tuck them into bed. I'd take them for a stroll in a baby carriage. I named them. It was always names I thought I'd name my kids...Chelsea, Heaven, Xavier. I just knew I'd be a great mom.

Now that I'm a mom, I doubt every single day whether or not I'm a great mom. I get wrapped up in all the things moms feel guilty about. I should have stayed home instead of worked. Did I teach you the right life skills? Did I nourish your creativity? Did I instill confidence? Did I read you enough bedtime stories? Did I play enough cars and trucks?

The one thing I NEVER doubt is that I have amazing sons. Strong and masculine yet sensitive enough to not be jerks. Kind-hearted. Intelligent. Responsible. Funny. Capable. My world. When I look at them, I feel like I did something right. The phrase "my pride and joy" makes sense. Being mom to Marc and Nate is the best thing I've ever been.

Me and Nate headed out for ride #1

They spoiled me rotten this Mother's Day. It was darn near the perfect day. I woke to breakfast, a pedicure and a manicure, gifts. I relaxed watching tv, read a book, and went on three bike rides (I got a new bike so we had to break it in). Then dinner (crab-stuffed, bacon-wrapped shrimp and a yummy salad). Then some cuddle time. Lots of smiles and time together.

Me and my boys!!

We also celebrated prom #2 this weekend. Marc's girlfriend goes to a different high school so off they went to dance the night away.


This time, I decided to attempt to make her corsage. I think it turned out great. 

Me and my little sis with my mom and dad

Of course, what would Mother's Day be without a few words about my own momma. She's loving, kind, thoughtful, and always there for me. She taught me to cook, laugh, clean house, and take care of myself. She taught me how to be a good person and a great mom. She taught me what it means to love your kids unconditionally. She taught me to forgive. She's taught me to be nice to everyone I meet and how to be respectful even around those people you dislike. She's taught me generosity and to do for others. My mom has the best laugh and a smile that can warm a room. She makes friends in the grocery store and knows everyone. She taught me the best things in life can't be bought. I love her! I hope some day my boys say the same things about me. 

39 by 39 - Do Something Awesome for Marc's Birthday & Get a Tattoo

Big surprise!!!

My now-adult son and I disagree on what is awesome when it comes to birthday celebrations! I know, I'm as shocked as you are.

Leading up to his birthday, I've been overcome with mixed emotions. Happiness. Pride. Sadness. Irritation (c'mon you mean your teen doesn't irritate you??). You name it - I've felt it.

at left: one week; at right: 18

Of course it's led to some reflection and it's interesting how twisted your emotions get:

How the heck did those 18 years just fly by?

You can't leave yet - stay home.
Ok, you're 18, get out. (he's not graduating yet so he's stuck with me but there's days lol)

I'm proud of the young man I've raised.
Did I do enough? I mean, he still doesn't do his own laundry.

I'm not old enough to have an adult son. I mean, it feels like I just graduated high school myself.

Needless to say overall I'm really excited and proud but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little sad.

Me and Marc this week

So I've been thinking of ways to celebrate the milestone. Pinterest had my convinced I should fill his room with helium balloons carrying pictures of him that represented every year of his life. (except I have no time and I scrapbooked them and they're put away and I'm too busy to pull them out). And that I should have made a quilt using all the baby clothes and tshirts I've saved over the years (except I didn't save them because I'm not a hoarder). And that I should give him a wonderful journal I've kept over the years in which I'd written down every cute thing he's ever said or did (except that those memories are mixed in with the rest of my journal and I'm not ready to give that to either boy yet). And of course that I should give him some awesome gift like a car (except I'm broke) or an heirloom like grandpa's watch (except that he's sort of irresponsible with tangible things right now so I think that's best for when he's a little older).


Suffice it to say, I was feeling like a failure for not doing something fantastic and nostalgic and memorable.

Then I was reminded he's an 18 year old boy who wants to hang with friends and he isn't on Pinterest so he doesn't know what he's missing:)

So here's what I did instead. I booked his tattoo appointment for his first tattoo. And guess what???

Marc and I finally agreed on what is awesome for your 18th birthday!

Stenciled on, it's about to get real!!

Adam (tattoo artist extraordinaire) doesn't look too happy at my photo snapping habit. Adam's really cool though and was fun to visit with while Marc got inked.

Side note: Marc must have asked about 400 times if it was going to hurt. He asked if anyone had passed out...the look on his face was priceless when Adam said dozens have passed out but only one has ever died. LMAO!!

No turning back now!

And the final product. An elk with R.I.P. Mason. Marc lost his best friend Mason a few years ago in a terrible accident. He's wanted this tattoo ever since. He originally wanted big graffiti letters that said RIP Mason but I helped guide him to an idea he loved even more. He and Mason shared a love of hunting.

first ink!

 And because we had an hour left in the scheduled time, Adam agreed to give me a bonus tattoo. I've always wanted the boys' zodiac signs. And now there they are. On my wrist. I love it!

After tattooing, I cooked dinner for a crazy bunch of kids that I love. Tri-tip, potato salad, garlic bread, and Marc's favorite strawberry dessert. The kids were nice enough to let me take their photo before dinner!

Happy birthday Marc!!

Sleigh Bells Ring...

Imagine a field covered in pure white snow - not a single track save for an animal or two. Thousands of ice crystals blanket the ground, sparkling from the sunlight. The sun shining above and the deep blue sky contrasts with the white snow. All of this framed by majestic mountains and lots of trees.

Percheron horses stand in the snow

Big Percheron horses stand ready to pull a sled. The sled is filled with hay bales and a big fire glows, read to warm 20 to 30 people. It's a peaceful scene, save for the 10-15 kids ready to ride the sled around the field. The kids are bundled up, throwing snowballs, dunking each other in the snow. The adults stand around the fire, drinking hot chocolate and homemade peppermint schnapps or coffee with homemade Kahlua. Big pots of chili warming by the fire. The adults are visiting, the kids are laughing - when the family patriarch Joe steps up and grabs the reins. Kids pile on the sled, a few of the adults leave the fire to join the ride. 

The sled lunges forward as the horses take off. They find their groove and make the first cut into the snow. The kids are smiling, pushing each other off the back of the sled - running to catch up and get back on. The sled makes several passes through the field. The kids are frozen, the adults are happy.

This is one of my favorite Christmas memories.

Growing up in beautiful southwestern Colorado, our family was lucky enough to call the Kolz family friends. They welcomed us as if we were family and every December, invited us to their place for sled rides and fun. Twenty to thirty of us would gather to ring in the holiday season.




Thinking about the Kolz family and these magical days always puts Christmas into perspective for me. It's easy to get stressed about whether I've bought enough, done enough, been perfect enough.

And then I smile and realize that my favorite Christmas memories have nothing to do with presents. It's about memories.

Let me share a few others:

• My grandparents lived in Oregon and one year, we drove through the night (at least that's the way it seemed) to surprise them. We knocked on their door and I'll never forget the look on their faces. Mom swore we'd never surprise them again...she was afraid they'd have a heart attack. 
• My other grandma lived in Tuscon. Grandma Carmen wasn't always the nicest and she didn't give the best gifts. But we'd drive for hours - my sister and I in the back seat, reading our Archie comic books, singing Christmas Carols, reading road signs, and eating a lot of junk food. The year my sister learned to read was also the year I got my first tape recorder. We made my grandma a tape for Christmas. From Colorado to Tuscon, I sang songs in my little 8 or 9 year old voice while my sister recorded herself reading every single road sign for miles and miles. A few years ago, my aunt gave me the tape and I smiled as I listened to it. A moment in time captured forever....my sis's little voice proud to be reading, my voice proudly singing before anyone took away my confidence. 
• Stockings were always a big deal in our family. To this day, it's my favorite part of the present process. My mom would fill our huge stockings with goofy toys, nail polish, lip gloss, candy and other silly little trinkets. Our stockings would be over flowing while my mom's hung empty. One year when I was about 10, my sister and I talked about the injustice - mom never had anything in her stocking. With no money, we whipped up a plan to fill it up. We scoured the house for treasures. We found lighters mom had lost. Pens that had been lost in the couch cushions. We drew pictures, wrote her notes....and we proudly filled that stocking with our home's lost and found treasures. 
• My first Christmas with Marcus - he was 8 months old. I remember his smiles and giggles as he played in the wrapping paper. Crawling around on the floor, sticking bows to his forehead and climbing up on my lap with the biggest grin. 
• My second Christmas with Chad - I was in recovery from a tubal pregnancy that had ruptured, resulting in emergency surgery. I was depressed, lost inside myself, and focused more on the baby I lost than the family I had. Chad and Marcus went out one day, leaving me alone. They returned with the biggest Christmas tree I'd ever seen in my life. It literally filled half our living room. They turned on the Christmas music and set about to cheer me up. 

I know I'm forgetting some but every year, a few days before Christmas, I want to run out and buy more things. I want to spend the last few dollars I have to buy more. And then, I put everyone in bed, turn off all the lights except for the Christmas tree, sit on the couch with a cup of tea, and think back on my favorite Christmas memories. And I am reminded that Christmas doesn't come in a box. Merry Christmas everyone! 

A Few of Our Favorite Things

Last year on Pinterest, I saw a post for a "Our Favorite Things Party" and loved the idea. Over the years, I've had card exchange parties and cookie exchange parties but this sounded much more fun - boy was I right!

The invitation

To begin with, I picked a date and created an invitation.

Normally I would invite my close circle of friends but I decided to extend invitations to women I've met through the Chamber of Commerce that I thought I'd like to know a little better.



The rules were simple:

Pick your favorite thing under $6, purchase 5, wrap them up and bring them to the party. It could be a beauty item, a kitchen gadget, or something else. 

Then I had the fun of planning the menu and decorating the house. I scoured pinterest for recipes and decorating ideas.

And here's where I make an admission.....I'm not Martha Stewart and I cheated! 

Normally, I'd make everything from scratch and strive for perfection....making myself crazy with recipes filled with butter and cheese and bacon and deliciousness. I'd be worn out from baking, cooking, cleaning....this year, I focused on the one or two things I do really really well and then opted for some pre-made things to save me some stress.

The other 'cheat' I did was to allow my friends to bring something. I hate to throw a party and ask my guests to bring anything. It just doesn't feel right. I got over that this year. Everyone asked, "What can I bring?" My pride started to say nothing but truth is, money's a little tight and time's a little short so I started giving them ideas. It worked well and everyone thinks next year's party should be potluck!

The gifts pile up under the tree

Ok, on to the fun. The guests began to arrive and my little house was soon packed with amazing women and fun packages.

We started having a few drinks, eating some food, introducing eachother.

It was fun to have an eclectic group of ladies at my house and be able to introduce people who hadn't had a chance to meet yet.

At one point, someone decided to play "Six Degrees of Heather" and everyone talked about their connection to me.

I know how I feel about each of these women but it was really heartwarming to hear them talk about me (and a LOT embarassing haha).

There were women I'd met through my kids sporting events. Women I'd met through my ex-husband (he was a firefighter).
A woman I'd met when I purchased a black lab from her.
And of course, women I knew from work.

Me and Rachael  - she started as a volunteer

on my events and is now a good friend

They all had something in common.....beautiful, caring, kind, generous, and incredibly funny!!

Then the gift giving began.

Each of us grabbed our gifts, said a little something about our "favorite thing" and then drew five names to give the gift to. Each of us ended up with five gifts at the end. It was full of laughs and so interesting to see what our "favorite things" were.

We got socks, lotion, lip gloss, tea, candles, gift certificates for a book or a coffee, chocolates, champagne, kitchen hand towels, scarves, and rubber spatulas.

Laurie (in the middle) and her daughter Adrienne on the left- 

I know them through my ex-husband. Laurie and I fish together

each year. Cathy on the right - we met through our oldest

sons football careers:) 

But mostly we got a few laughs, lots of cheer, and the opportunity to celebrate friendship and the holiday season! I think this is a new tradition!

 A few photos from the evening:

Valerie (on the left) and I met through the Ford Family Program.
She's truly one of the most beautiful women I know. I'll write
about her sometime.
Angee (on the right) and I have a funny history. I dated her ex-husband and
when we parted ways, her and I have remained
friends. 

Tashia (on the left) owns Tashi Soap Company - maker of the best lotion
on the planet. I don't know her well but I really like her.
Kristi (on the right) is one of my best friends.
I've known her the longest here in Klamath. Our boys are friends. 

Judi (on the left) is a new friend. I met her during a football game
when I realized she was the only mom in the stands louder than me.
Amber (on the right) has a son who's friends with Nate. 

Shannon (standing) sold me a black lab.  Melinda

(sitting in the middle) owns several wonderful stores and has

become a good friend. 

Amanda (middle) left her job at the Chamber, creating an

opening for me to attempt to take her place. Shari (right) and

I first met when her ex-husband coached Nate's

tee-ball team five years ago. 

My new favorite Christmas drink -
Peppermint White Russian yum!

A Boo-tiful Day

I had the best Halloween yesterday. Except I didn't throw Nate his annual Halloween party. And I thought he wouldn't notice except he keeps asking. And then his friends started asking me why I didn't have one. So now, I have a whole year to plan an exciting Halloween party!

On to the fun part - PICTURES!

Halloween for me started on Monday when I made Marc take me to Rocky Horror Picture Show. I've never seen it, never been to a showing, and so I was in fact a virgin. Of course, so was Marc. We walked in, everyone was dressed up and I thought Marc's eyes were going to bug out of his head. He was slightly uncomfortable at first but when it came time to throw rice and toast, etc, he laughed and we had a great time. I don't think he'll ever go again but next year, I'm dressing up! haha

Then of course pumpkin carving. Here's where I'll admit I'm the worst mom ever. This is one tradition I hate. I love the years when the boys are so busy they forget. Bleh. This year was slightly more fun because I decided to use a power drill to make mine. Fun times!

Kelsy (Marc's girlfriend) carved pumpkins with us

Nate got the biggest pumpkin he could find

Our pumpkins (guess which one's mine:) 

Then of course costumes!

Halloween is funner when you're thinner. ha, for me anyway. I've wanted to dress up for years but the last thing I wanted to do was draw attention to myself. I made up a little for lost time by wearing two costumes!

During the day, I was Amelia Earhart.

I took Nate's friends with us .

Marcus even dressed up this year...he's Hugh Hefner and here he is with Kelsy. 

So I mentioned I wore two costumes. I painted my face sort of "day of the dead," wore a wig, and dressed in black.

I'm pretty proud of the way my makeup turned out. Not bad for freehand huh?

I think I'll start planning next year's costume now. It's so much more fun when you play along.

Giving up the 4th

For 33 years, I celebrated 4th of July with the rest of the nation. It usually included a barbecue, a trip downtown to the parade, and a visit to the fireworks show. Sometimes, I went to the lake, a river, a campground, but always I was surrounded with family and friends.

That all changed five years ago when I was put "in charge of 4th of July." Of course, that's not exactly the case but I am the organizer for our community's local Independence Day celebrations. It sounds a little pretentious to say I'm in charge of 4th of July and when I made that comment the other day, I didn't say it for kudos or because I think I'm important. It's because I take my job seriously. I really do feel responsible for how well (or poorly) the events turn out.

I don't want kudos....those should be reserved for my volunteers who spend hours upon hours leading up to the event planning and organizing (and dealing with me). They call businesses for donations to be turned down 9 times out of 10. They call organizations to ask if they'll be in the parade. They call in favors from other business associates. They meet with me in the evening, they meet with me at lunchtime. 

Then these dedicated volunteers miss Independence Day with their families to show up early, work all day, deal with some of the public who are grumpy and sometimes rude. While their families are at home or at the lake, they're in the park with me. 

They work in the heat from sun up to well past sundown. They put up tents, haul our vendors tables and supplies to and fro, help lost kids find their parents, and pick up trash that didn't quite make it in the trash can. 

They survive sunburns, brave dehydration, and wear out their feet to make sure our community can celebrate in the best possible way. 

They act professionally and respectfully when they're yelled at by the guy who is mad he has to park two blocks down. When a vendor is grumpy because they don't like their spot and they call my volunteer a name (or two), my volunteers stay calm, cool, and collected. 

When someone complains the parade is too late, or too early, or that it's too hot or that they don't like this or that, they listen. 

These are my heroes. They deserve the kudos. 

And I ask that next time you're at an event, take time (even if it's after) to thank those who helped pull it together. It's a big task! 

So now that I've got that out, let me share a few photos from our Independence Day Jamboree and Parade. 

Debbie and Tori start out at 6:30 a.m. putting up caution tape downtown, they won't finish their day until after midnight

Jacob and his mom Holly meet us bright and early to hang flags on Main Street

Our pyro guys set up a spectacular fireworks show! 

The parade kicks off the event and many organizations put hours into their floats

Our theme this year was 4th on the Farm....lots of tractors and patriotism

With heat in the 90s, Roe Outfitters sprayed parade-goers with water guns! A welcome relief from the heat

Look closely and you'll see my cute little Nate waiving at me in an orange t-shirt. 

Even Marc and his girlfriend helped out. Marc hung flags in the morning, kept people out of the fireworks fly zone, and did whatever else I needed

Our event was featured in a magazine. That cute kid eating a snowcone is my Nate. The fireworks photo was taken by my friend Scott Brainard. 

I'm worn out, exhausted, but overall pleased with how the event went. I have a year to recuperate! 

Easter Blessings

Nearly my whole extended family lives about four hours from me. This means that for any given holiday, I'm expected to go there. I don't begrudge it...it's the way it is. So imagine my excitement when my sister decided to come with the kids. Then my parents said they'd come to. And before I knew it my own grandparents were coming as well!

I waited all week for them to arrive and cleaned the house like crazy! They arrived in a whirlwind and seemed to be gone before I could blink but not before I could get some great memories made:

My beautiful niece coloring Easter eggs

Aunt Tara and Nate decorate the cake

COUSINS!

Sprinkles on marshmallows....what could be better?

And of course sprinkles on cake

The kids decorated the Easter egg cake

Finding eggs!

Liam was upset the others found more than him so he wouldn't smile

After the kids found the eggs, they hid them for the adults:

Great Grandpa finds an egg

Great Grandma finds an egg

Grandpa finds an egg

I'm so lucky to still have my grandparents. They're in their 80s and still pretty active. Our family is what it is because of him and grandma!

Just a beautiful picture of my grandpa

 My mom is pretty amazing too and I'm so glad my kids are close to her.

Grandma, Marc, and Paige (Paige loves Marc)

Goofy kids!

 Oh, we have to talk food! I made Paula Deen's Asparagus quiche and it was AMAZING!!!!

Tara made colorful veggie salad....again, amazing!

Oh, and it was gone before I could take a picture but we made this orange croissant egg bake that was seriously one of the best things I've ever had for brunch . . . EVER! No photo but easy and you MUST try it!

Marc and Great Grandpa

The gang...