Friday, August 5, 2011

Ownership

"Oh God, thank you Mom. I'm so glad you found that shirt," Nate exclaimed.

Wow, my seven year old is very excited over this t-shirt.

"Dad said I have to bring it back or I'll be in trouble," he says.

Say what???

"Dad says he bought it and so it's his and it has to stay at his house," he says matter-of-factly.

Um, again, say what???

In the latest move of selfishness and stupidity, the boys' things must be marked or somehow identified as to which parent purchased them.

The rule apparently is: If Dad bought it, it's not allowed at mom's.

Now I understand this for certain items. Like a PS3 or a WII or an Xbox. I'll even agree with the bikes and those sort of items. But clothes??

So that begs me to ask what the proper protocol is for swapping the kids. Under his way of thinking, it would work like this:

Meet at designated location. The parent picking up the child will have a set of clothing purchased by them. The child can go into a private place, change into the clothing (returning the other set of clothing to the parent who purchased them) and then the child can go with the designated parent in the appropriate (alas purchased by said parent) clothing. Oh, and don't forget, this rule pertains to shoes as well.

And I have to ask, what about the clothing we purchased together? I'm assuming those should be marked somehow so we know those are the ones that can go back and forth.

And do underwear and socks count or are those the exception to this new rule? It might be embarassing for the oldest in the gym locker room to have underwear that say Mom or Dad written in black sharpie.

Are watches and jewelry and accessories part of this deal?

Oh, and you want two backpacks for school? So when you pick up the boys, we'll transfer everything out of the backpack I purchased into your backpack and switch back when we swap kids. So what about their luggage? Do I pack their clothes in MY luggage and then at the pick-up/drop off location we switch into YOUR luggage?

I want to ask my ex if this rule serves any purpose. I'd like him to take a step back and ask if this is really in the best interest of the kids or if he's just looking for yet one more way to make things difficult.

Absurd, I say. My advice to everyone (including my ex) is that the way to best deal with divorce and a broken home is to love your kids more than you hate your ex.







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